Blessfullyshocked

deviant art is basically worthless now so probably won't be posting much of anything any longer.

I am so thankful for the seemingly devastating events that have occurred over the past two months. They have opened my eyes to things and forced me out of my comfort zone which is exactly what I needed. I have done things I never would have done if those events had not transpired and I couldn't be more thrilled.

I visited a beautiful place and a magnificent person.
I got to see an inspiring school with interesting people.
I got to have my skin worshiped and was able to open up.


I just can't explain how happy I am with what has happened.
I am more content with my life and who I am than I have been in a while.
I am ready for what's next and am glad to have grown so much in such a short time.


Yessssss.

I have filled my body with temporary pleasure and am feeling the
ache of its absence now. It is haunting and it is curious because
you are never sure of how to push it down. It is a swelling thing
and when it learns of new strongholds in your life it connects
itself to them so it can blossom.

I am already so sick of it and I hope time can dampen its force.
I am attempting to fill myself with nurturing things but so
far it has been futile and hasn't done a lot to help. I suppose
it has made these two days tolerable though. I just hope I will
start feeling better and more myself soon.

When it struck midnight my blood was boiling beneath the suds of soap and unmasked eyes. I was thrusting my hands into the night air and bending against my own desires. I developed under my own thoughts instead of yours.

IAMNOLONGERYOURS.

You are no longer my one and only and I no longer desire you to be.

I have clipped my nails and forgotten my cares and for once I have reached the climax that you could never fathom inside of me. Instead of thinking of you as my lost half I have remembered that you never cared enough to try.

You were unaware of my intentions half the time and caught up in your own jealousy. I was a sad sad soul and you couldn't breathe in my presence. You were afraid of me and you never saw me the way I wanted you to. You never even read a thing I wrote you never even saw the beauty I did you never ever ever ever did

You made a strong decision I never could have and I know it is better this way.

(I was all caught up in you even though you couldn't fill me up.)

It has been five years now. I can't fucking breathe.