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Submitted on
June 24, 2010
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3 (who?)
Will you please fuck me so I can learn to love
the skin that attaches itself to me more than
the person themselves who is actually on top
of me? I know you don't really care about me
so that would make it easier to love your skin
and nothing but. I guess what I'm saying is I'm
trying to find a way to kill my insides and you're
it. How bout' it Joseph? Care to break me down
nice and easy or hard and swift? You're the only
guy I've ever been attracted to besides him...and
you know I love him so obviously that wouldn't work
though it's starting to have its own downfalls.
Well, you don't give a fuck and I need a fuck.

(To me this is one of the saddest, most pathetic, and most honest things I've ever written. Straight out of the ol' journal.
Maybe to scraps later.)
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silklilies Jul 19, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
"you have to decide if your heart and well being are worth someone who doesn't keep them safe"
i live by those words today
Blessfullyshocked Jul 19, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I should say, no one is worth that but even if that's true
I don't go along with it. I always thought he was worth it.
And now I have to tell myself every day that he's not.
silklilies Jul 20, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
believe me, i dealt with the same thing. now every day...i could talk to her. tell her i miss her and love her and i can't stand this, trying to get over her.
my veryvery good friend told me it is like..standing on the edge of something very tall- knowing it would feel wonderful and beautiful to fly. but then you remember there's concrete at the bottom.
no one is worth being hurt.
don't jump.
Blessfullyshocked Jul 20, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
That's a very good analogy
I really like it. I decided
to put together everything
that connected to him and
get my friend to hold onto
it for me until I'm strong
enough to know what to do
with it all.
silklilies Jul 20, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
that's what i did
i had a box of gifts for her
and i gave it to my friend
because i spent so long making those things
but they're so full of pain for me now
Blessfullyshocked Jul 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, I'm sorry. May I ask what sort
of gifts?
silklilies Jul 22, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
i drew her things and made her a book and a paper bird.
Blessfullyshocked Jul 23, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
That sounds heavenly lovely. I drew him
things and he threw them away when he moved.
(1 Reply)
Great writing but intertwined with sadness. Well written :(
Blessfullyshocked Jul 2, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much. Really.
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