Drowsy wake

You skimmed over your loss while we were in the ocean.
Asked if I was a good swimmer and without waiting
for a reply swam further. I followed breathless,
but confident straddling the ocean with my thighs
smiling as the salt whipped up and licked my face.
I didn't fight it but instead leaned into it.
You said the best you'd ever swam was three miles.
Threw up afterwards. You seemed comfortable here
in the water as I flopped around happily but with
less ability beside you so I didn't question it.

Apparently she died in a car wreck, your brother was
driving drunk. He didn't make it either. You didn't
look at me as you said it but instead swam further.
I followed surprised but not overly shocked (I never
really am I guess).

You smiled at me drunk and said a few other minuscule
things I smiled back and asked you to tell me something
in German. You told me you wanted to fuck me in three
different ways I laughed but didn't reply.

I watched the sun lower its sweltering body towards us
losing its light but gaining color that bled into the
sky around it. The sand and water reflected its
brilliance and I got caught up in the peach light
instead of you for a moment. My body was buzzing and I
just wanted to reach out to it, for the wake to carry me
not back to the shore but instead into that sunset.
I've always wanted the sky more than most people.

You were fascinating for a moment. Most things you
said or did after that sunset were hazy and while
I still remember them they won't linger.

But the hermetic pull of "home" lost its tug and became
a rope with loose ends breaking one at a time. The sun
was kind, my face was flushed and my body capable.

I felt loud without speaking like somehow my presence
held more plangency in this place so far away from
everything I knew.